I feel so shit about myself, about disappointing my family, I’m not the perfect child. I feel like I keep failing them and I am both disappointed in myself that I cannot give back as much as I can and also being so reliant on parental approval for my happiness.
I don’t know how to make up or how to do anything about this, maybe eventually, but right now it is very hard for me. My mother thinks I’m heartless and cold, but I’m actually just scared of disappointment, I cannot deal with it in the face and I know I’m not supposed to be the person to tear up. so I’m hiding in front of my laptop trying to not let my tears fall.