Sometimes, some days, I actually hate my life.
At 33 I really feel like I’m not in control of my own life.
Pain rules my days and if it isn’t pain then it’s family or friends. I take enough pain killers just to get out of bed that if a normal person takes them, it would kill them. I’m constantly tired, doesn’t matter if I’ve had nothing or 12 hours. I have a university degree, used to be active and healthy, now I’m over weight, on the cusp of being diabetic and feel like I’m constantly failing at life, being a fiancée, a mum, a daughter and a human being. I don’t have a job, if I was on a tv show I’d have nothing to say about myself- you know when they say ‘Hi, I’m Karen and I’m a care worker’ etc- I’d literally not have anything to say. I’m not a SAHM cos my boy is 9 and in school, I’m not a housewife because I can barely run my house because of pain among other things. I’m no one!
I know that it could be a lot worse and in a whole lot of ways I’m lucky, I have a home, a family who I adore and a couple of friends. I know I could be a lot worse off, but some days/weeks it just gets too much for me to handle. Well this is one of those weeks.
Thank you for listening